Monday, September 3, 2007

love.......

How long does it last?Can love be measured by the hours in a day?I have no answers now, but this much I can sayI'm going to need him till the stars all burn awayAnd he'll be there.....
shirley bassey,love story


Love, a feeling that has been dissected in over a million ways or more by a number of people that can beat infinity....As i sit to write about the strongest feeling i have ever felt,words r elusive...i ask myself what on earth am i doing here?As i stare at the monitor,thousands of thoughts are zooming by..
Its a little crazy,but the first thing that comes to my mind is bollywood.Why not?By the time we reach the throes of adolescence ,our mind is bombarded with a mishmash of stories of how man meets woman,falls in love and the consequences of falling in love...At that stage in life,love is just a heady rush,a feeling of going weak in the knees,a discreet glance at the object of ur affection,and if the glance is returned,an excitement that knows no boundaries!Its about blank calls given,blank calls received,{when i was in school,there were no mobile phones u see} Its about helping the object with his homework and hoping he would notice u a little more....and by any luck,if any hints are acknowledged by the object,ur convinced that this is it.He s the man for u..and u want to live a happily ever after existence..
Its another story when another object of affection arrives on the scene and u feel the same feelings all over again!
Just freshly out of school,and u walk into college.. U realise the scene has just gotten bigger,and the objects have become more in number...and the freedom is palpable..Still dealing with all the chaos that teenage has brought in physically and mentally,one is always unsure...do u look attractive enough?,U play hard to get just because we arent really sure how u are expected to be around members of the opposite sex..Sometimes u succeed in appearing cool and suave,and sometimes u fall straight on ur face..ok...Lets talk about the first possibility,U finally manage to impress someone who is also going through exactly the same stage of emotions..U tell our friends,oh yes..im seeing someone,u bunk class,u go for ur first date..u sit there wondering what could be the right words that can tumble out of ur mouth,
Well...he is a moron............., just like u.So after a moronic conversation,both of u decide yup,...we can be called the boyfriend girlfriend variety...Months of phone calls,moronic dates and greeting cards exchanged on valentines day,and clumsy holding of hands precedes the feeling of boredom..what the heck am i doing with him...boredom sets in...u eventually, gradually and without any harsh words exchanged, lose in touch only to be embarassed when u bump into him years later with ur kids in tow...
And then it hits u.....u meet someone who blows u off ur feet in an instant,u feel the heady rush but this time its different.or is it?Well..yes it is...U are on ur way to becoming an adult..u meet someone whose frequency matches with urs,it might not be all about looks,u look for affection,passion,and commitment.and u get it..or thats what ur made to believe.. Its all hunky dory,compatibility levels are high...and u start dreaming of a future together.Both of u are in a paradise of love...and then the inevitable change sets in.U change,he changes,taking each other for granted mode sets in..U become less attentive or he does,and then yelling,calling names and saying things u dont really mean becomes a routine ..U try n cope with it saying things will smoothen out soon,they do too...but the cycle continues...there is no end to it!U want to break out of it but ur so habituated with this person beside u that ur afraid of loneliness and sweating it out on ur own.There is no love left...both of u look tired and worn out.. the relationship is over,the only thing both of u are looking for is a way for it to be finally ,completely,over!
Ur out of it and u feel fresh, a little hurt,a little cheated,a little relieved..U decide,no more falling in love for me,U start treating members of the opposite sex wearily....U dont really respond to hints,and for once,unwittingly ur playing hard to get,so u come across as cool and suave all over again.. The hints increase,u become more of a recluse....and somewhere along in this cat and mouse game...u meet someone ...again! without any explanation,without any reasoning or logic,u fall in love again...but this time the feeling is accompanied by a feeling of serenity..u learn not to repeat the mistakes uv made,u become more loving,more giving,more tolerant...
Is this it?Have i finally found him?Watch this space!

1 comment:

  1. Good expression on the toils of the heart restraining from the mind.

    Grey shades always remain prominent from the past, but its when we start looking at the different colors all over again is when the hearts musings takes over the controlling mind.

    Play with the colors seen and they turn into a beautiful painting that'l remain framed rest of ur earthly stay.

    Love is not understood unless the feeling for it is felt within the heart with no qualms surrounded.

    The space should be filled not with hope for the continuation but with your feelings that's so evergreen.

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