Tuesday, January 1, 2008
To believe or not to believe
Vakratunda mahakaya koti surya samaprabha……The words fill up the air,as I step fresh out of my shower,Its 6 in the evening n I can hear jagjit singh s mellow voice resounding in my room.
I do not know what those words mean, but they give me immense peace,I feel pure n full of life.
Im not a religious person, I do not pray every day, not even once in a month. Actually I never pray…. atleast not the standard method used for praying.. I do not understand why people go to temples on one particular day say Saturday, stand in a crowd, n fold their hands n bow their heads in prayer,I do not understand why we are not supposed to live life in certain ways because it is inauspicious, I do not see the logic behind sitting cross legged in between clouds of smoke amid chanting priests, all I get is a cramp n a bout of breathlessness.
I do not understand the reason why people do not eat meat when they have to go to a temple or during certain months, and gorge on it later when they are not feeling pious anymore.
I cannot go stand in front of god and demand favours from him and ask him “oh god please do this for me, please do that for me,I shall come every tuesday to see u.”
.Im not against temples, but I cannot go to the sai baba temple on Thursdays, I would do anything to be among just a handful of quiet devotees just soaking in the purity of the whole affair on any other day .
Im not an atheist. I do believe in GOD. but I cant define him
To me god means just another push when im down, somebody who can be my strength, a feel good factor or rather a feel strong factor, if I may say that.
HE is a positive vibe, a sense of tranquility, a feeling of happiness, somebody who stays with me when i am right, and stays with me when I am wrong, He s a state of mind .
I believe there is a supreme power much above mortal understanding and capacities, who guides me in his own way, who helps me stay positive even when i find a hundred reasons not to. He doesn’t need to be pampered or cajoled to help me out of the rut that i am in.
I believe in the power of my mind but im not against my mother religiously following every rule in the book when it comes to god. It keeps her happy, it helps her stay calm and stress free. If she wants me to repeat Jai Santoshi Ma when she tells the same to me,I gladly do it. It is not being forced. She feels her daughter is being protected and that look of relief on her face gives me a hundred reasons to repeat it whenever she wants me to.
All that matters in the end is peace n happiness of the people who matter to me and my own .
May god be with everyone.