It's been over 5 months since I have tied the knot. I can't say I'm an expert in the marital sciences. I can't even say my marriage is perfect nor can give the warranty card that my marriage will be safe from all the travails that life often throws at us. When people so often bump into me & ask me "so How's married life?" ( I really dunno how to answer that one...!!) Everytime they throw that at me - I'm stumped! The answer usually comes out in random mumbles depending on the frame of mind that I am in. The answers range from "Great! Good..Fine! OKAY!!! ! Going on...!....."
We have our share of spats..... mean, spiteful, hurtful words hurled at each other..... small silly things blown out of proportion... Most of the time. Only because we don't have major issues between us. Nothing to do with parents, money, friends, opposite sex, choice of career, workplace.
So I understand that if you put two people together who are madly in love, they will still fight. Even if they have everything going for them perfectly.
Now what I'd like to acknowledge is that my husband allows me the freedom to these small tiffs. He lets it be if I am pissed at him if a traffic jam makes me late to my class & my students are waiting for me feeling smug coz they know that the next time they are late, I cant throttle their necks or their attendance sheet.
So you see, My husband has played no role in me being late to class, yet I snap at him... and he's smart enough not to question my logic. When things cool down he knows quite well, I will apologise to him & make up for my follies in kind. ;)
So it doesn't make him any less of a man for "taking crap from his wife" It just makes him an intelligent man. :)And it also teaches me that the more I indulge in silly fights, the more sorry I will have to be.
I don't understand the whole "so who wears the pants in the house?" We both do!!
He wears denim & I wear satin. :) There is no question of authority. We are just two friends having fun, living together, making decisions, fighting like vengeful enemies, and on the whole...Living Life. :)
I can do a lot of unfeminine things in front of him without him raising an eyebrow.... There is no code of conduct that I have to follow when he is around. There is no "keeping the wife under control".
What he gets in return for giving me that freedom ...well... he should talk about that. (I try and be modest sometimes). :)
Now just coz he does not don "the role of a husband", we both end up dancing to "Zor ka jhatka hai zoron se laga... shaadi bangayi umar kaid ki saza" together.
There is this quote from the sitcom "Friends". Monica tells Chandler -
" I don't want a fancy wedding. I want a meaningful Marriage"...
and I'm on my way!