Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Babyzilla alert!

I have been asked the question "When's the good news?" multiple times in different avatars , disguised in various ways. The usual perpetrators are 'well meaning' women in their 40's, 50's & 60's. Sometimes, even men, even 30 something men have decided to worry about my 'childless' status. Neighbours and acquaintances have questioned me sometimes in crowded buses where there is hardly any space to breathe. I have to find a good answer that doesn't sound awkward when somebody is yanking their elbow into my stomach.
In my defence, ( I really don't need any, but for the record) I Love kids. I am good with them. I can say with a decent amount of confidence that kids love me too. I have 2 beautiful nephews, one is turning 6 and the other is 6 months old. I make random conversations with kids I see in public with relative ease, while their awkward parents make up their mind whether they should smile at me or ignore the conversation.
I have been married for 2.5 years now and the thought has crossed my mind. I do want to have a baby if & whenever but just not now. Why? Just because I really don't have a strong urge to have one NOW! Now how does one explain that to anybody who lacks the sense enough to question people about their personal decisions and worry about your 'incompleteness'. I call such people Babyzillas!
Who decides this time frame of '2 years'? "You have enjoyed for 2 years. Now please settle down". So just because you have'nt really popped out a baby in that prototype time span, there's something really wrong  either with you or your relationship or your ovaries.
The next target will be your age. Being a doctor myself, I do understand the basics of the biological clock. But the clock ticks away at a regular pace, one that you are well aware of. In the same context, Rujuta Diwekar in her book, Women & the weight loss tamasha busts this myth beautifully. She talks about a crowded traffic intersection. If the intersection is crowded, you are stuck. If its free then you move smoothly. If work, health, relationship areas are all smooth ( intersection clear) go ahead, plan a baby. There is no point being 25 years old, 25 kgs overweight and talking about planning a baby.
Its a personal decision, regardless of age or weight and it's nice when the whole world doesnt try & butt their heads into a space they really shouldnt be.

I feel fit, happy & healthy.  My husband is my best friend. My work's going good. I am in a happy space.

 And Im still not ready just yet.


Till then, Ill continue my random conversations with random kiddos & avoid all the babyzillas as much as I can.

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