The full circle.

I was tempted to name my post" what goes around comes around". But I will try and be less judgmental about people who are already judgmental about me & my beliefs. Newspapers bombard us with reports of dogs mauling people ( mostly children) and I hate to read those reports. What saddens me first is that of a poor defenceless child that has his/her life snuffed out in a cruel way. and then the frenzy takes over. "Kill all stray dogs". "What would these silly animal activists do if their own child was mauled?" " How can you love animals more than human beings?"

It's the same old problem with us human beings. We create a problem and then we look around to the next mute defenceless creature that can be easily blamed and then we go all out and destroy the cause of the problem, the cause that we perceive as the cause.

As a student of health sciences, we were always taught - for any disease, treat the cause. Symptomatic relief is temporary. Always treat the cause.

By killing dogs randomly just after a mauling report, we are not solving the problem. We are just giving 'symptomatic relief' and we are also committing a grave sin if you ask me.

My logic can be questioned again. So if butchers throw meat are we increasing the numbers? maybe not directly ...but sure it is attracting the attention of a group of dogs who probably might not congregate if the meat wasn't there in the first place.

We will see more reports of children killed by 'strays'.... more reports of poisoned dogs, dogs battered by a mob, dragged around on vehicles..... I even had a friend suggest an air gun as a method to chase away the dogs.

My solution to this so called dog 'menace'

Solution 1 - Be kind to animals.

Solution 2 - Promote civic sense & basic hygiene in your area

Solution 3 - Adopt a stray. I have one & trust me I love it as much as anybody who has spent a fortune on their pug would.

Maybe it's time to look in the mirror and take account of the role we play in the tragedies of our own lives. It's time to find solutions... the right kind. :)

A request to my meat eating friends

Nope, before you cringe.. I'm not asking you to give up meat. Making healthy choices is upto you. I'm not even going to start with the rainforests, cardiovascular diseases or good ol'd simple ethics. Nope. Just as you expect me to respect your choice of eating meat, I request you to respect my choice of not eating meat. Just like you wouldn't want to hear me harp on healthier alternatives to meat, similarly I wouldn't like to listen to what I'm missing out on. I don't care if the chicken sate you ate was something to die for. I don't care if you think that my vegetarian cooking doesn't really count. You see I need to cater to my family which is largely vegetarian. If I make a Chicken roll, it really wouldn't count for them either. We decide to go out because we want to catch up...not because we need to convince each other about the food choices we make. I might not approve of meat eating but I have the bloody sense to keep it to myself. When a vegetarian makes a big deal of meat eating he/she is branded as extreme but why is it really Okay for a meat eater to criticize vegetarianism without being branded????I have no issues with anybody's choice It's a free country.

So the next time you eat your chicken sate, please let me eat my gobi in peace. Thank you.

Who wears the pants?

It's been over 5 months since I have tied the knot. I can't say I'm an expert in the marital sciences. I can't even say my marriage is perfect nor can give the warranty card that my marriage will be safe from all the travails that life often throws at us. When people so often bump into me & ask me "so How's married life?" ( I really dunno how to answer that one...!!) Everytime they throw that at me - I'm stumped! The answer usually comes out in random mumbles depending on the frame of mind that I am in. The answers range from "Great! Good..Fine! OKAY!!! ! Going on...!....."

We have our share of spats..... mean, spiteful, hurtful words hurled at each other..... small silly things blown out of proportion... Most of the time. Only because we don't have major issues between us. Nothing to do with parents, money, friends, opposite sex, choice of career, workplace.

So I understand that if you put two people together who are madly in love, they will still fight. Even if they have everything going for them perfectly.

Now what I'd like to acknowledge is that my husband allows me the freedom to these small tiffs. He lets it be if I am pissed at him if a traffic jam makes me late to my class & my students are waiting for me feeling smug coz they know that the next time they are late, I cant throttle their necks or their attendance sheet.

So you see, My husband has played no role in me being late to class, yet I snap at him... and he's smart enough not to question my logic. When things cool down he knows quite well, I will apologise to him & make up for my follies in kind. ;)

So it doesn't make him any less of a man for "taking crap from his wife" It just makes him an intelligent man. :)And it also teaches me that the more I indulge in silly fights, the more sorry I will have to be.

I don't understand the whole "so who wears the pants in the house?" We both do!!

He wears denim & I wear satin. :) There is no question of authority. We are just two friends having fun, living together, making decisions, fighting like vengeful enemies, and on the whole...Living Life. :)

I can do a lot of unfeminine things in front of him without him raising an eyebrow.... There is no code of conduct that I have to follow when he is around. There is no "keeping the wife under control".

What he gets in return for giving me that freedom ...well... he should talk about that. (I try and be modest sometimes). :)

Now just coz he does not don "the role of a husband", we both end up dancing to "Zor ka jhatka hai zoron se laga... shaadi bangayi umar kaid ki saza" together.

There is this quote from the sitcom "Friends". Monica tells Chandler -

" I don't want a fancy wedding. I want a meaningful Marriage"...

Ditto.

and I'm on my way!

:)

Boomerang!

I was talking to a friend who has recently gotten over a major heartbreak. He sulked & cribbed. He took to denial. He eventually distracted himself. :) Music. Social causes..Holidays............:) and then Cupid struck again. or so I hope. :) But finally he's over it.... Now why am I making a peep show into his life... well.....It s coz i just re visited the feeling of getting over someone. We've all been there & done that. Getting over someone. :) I just realised that its probably one of the most relieving sensations ever..... like a long satisfying poop after days of being well.... ;) U know what!

When you are fresh out of a relationship which you have not ended...Oh dear there's nothing fresh about it... I felt like a stale jackfruit!!! It sucks! Big time! You feel like a complete failure.

"I was not good enough. There is something hideously wrong with me. and the mother of all sulks... I'll never find somebody ever ever everr............"

Admit it or not, it becomes more about your bruised purplish black ego. When life eventually moves on, you realise that without your own notice you have moved on as well. and Suddenly, that odd song, some random movie & the mention of your ex's latest arm candy does not make you shed copious tears.

One starts wondering "Was I actually thinking of spending the rest of my life with that Idiot???" I shudder to even think of what could have happened if it had actually worked out. And most of the times trust me, it's NOT a case of sour grapes.

The ultimate testing moment is the time you come face to face with the person who mauled you emotionally just a couple of years ago. Blank................. No anger, no sadness...... No "hey we can still be friends......cant we"...Just that. NOTHING. Indifference.....:)

and at that very minute, you feel this sense of liberation. :) Hurray!!!!! Sooo OVER it!!! You can do a somersault in ur head ...Just like that!!! :) Almost as good as falling in love.

and yeah what if the insect wants to get back... well...Do another little somersault....;) Sometimes revenge happens even if you do not spend hours planning it. because, my friend,

Life eez like that wonly!!!! ;)

Sai Vishram

A Chance encounter. A sudden stroke of luck. That's what I would call my brush with Sai vishram resort. I chanced upon their website randomly as I googled through resorts near mangalore. I read reviews. I browsed through their gallery... and I couldn't find one reason why I shouldnt be planning my holiday there. You wont find one disgruntled tourist, not one dissatisfied customer review. I just typed in my number in their talk to us column... and the next instant ( Trust me, I am not exaggerating) I got a call from them. I was a little spooked out, but the person on line was not pushy. He answered all my queries patiently and let me go when I said I will get back. I went back & intensified my search a little more.(You see, I don't make quick travel decisions) and I made up my mind. This was one place I had to see.

Sai Vishram openly boasts of being a non alcoholic vegetarian resort; reason enough for most to give it a skip. But look beyond your usual idea of letting your hair down... and there's a gold mine waiting for you. We reached by seven in the evening and met Siddharth, the super quick & super efficient asst marketing manager whose response I mentioned earlier. We were treated to a simple and delicious meal. Nothing over the top; But a perfect homely meal for a hungry twosome. They do not provide room service and like they mention in the website, they like their guests to interact with each other. Talking about the rooms, we stayed in the non ac tent, and we loved the experience. They are clean, basic & perfect. There's a private back yard and prepare to be surprised. :) pleasantly. It also has an array of water sports ; however dependent on the weather conditions. It was pouring when we were there. Yet, as soon as the sky cleared up, the jet ski was hoisted out & all the guests were on a roll. What makes them different from other resorts that offer water sports is that they are not hurried, charging you a bomb even before you realise that you are actually beginning to have fun. They let you savour in the moment. .. They let you do it at your own pace.... A good 10 minute ride. :) :)

What made the stay even more lovely, was the attitude of the staff. They are friendly and not out to burn a hole in your pocket. On the whole, we loved the experience and would love to go there again & again.Just the perfect getaway.

P.S : A big thank you to Siddharth & Adarsh.:)

Cooking Shooking.. Hai Rabba!!!

Now before you think this is a blog about how much I hate cooking.... well.... as plausible as it sounds, that's absolutely gibberish. I love cooking!!!! :) Unbelievable. I've totally surprised myself as well as people around me....:) To begin with, I would hate venturing into the kitchen. And yesterday Ive emerged triumphant with an insanely fussy husband actually taking 2 & 3 & 4 helpings. Now how on earth did I make that rapid transition?? I have no idea!!!

I possibly slipped into the image that was built about me. A career woman... always studying... knows nothing about the home & hearth. Even my husband teased that if we ever had our own kitchen, it would be stacked with MTR ready to eat meals. Today that same man begs me to eat outside just coz I spend too much time in the kitchen dishing out the recipe of the day!!! ;)

When I got married, I did not know how to make my staple food. rice!!! :) :)

Sometimes, you slip into moulds that people make for you. and then you get a chance to shake it off and move on. Grab it when that happens. I dint know there was a chef Mansi hiding inside me....Now that she has emerged, there's no stopping her. :) :) :) and what's my secret ingredient? " unpredictability" I am just not sure about the end result when I begin to cook! Cooking is not rocket science... but yes!! You sure can use a little bit of logic.. a little bit of experience.... and a whole lot of confidence!!!! :) You are the best cook in the world!! It doesn't matter if people are waiting to sneer at you that you are just this geeky lil monster who yanks out teeth for a living.

:) I've learnt that the more you pull yourself down, there will be twenty & more people willing to jump over you & push you deeper. So, perk up those shoulders , lift that chin up.... and walk with your head held high..;) and let the critics rest in peace. :)

Bon Appetit.

Capital Punishment - inhumane???

2 Women. Priyadarshini Mattoo & Pratibha Srikanth Murthy. Both of them met a gory end. Raped & Murdered. Violently.

What has happened to the monsters who committed the crime? Still alive... still breathing... still trying to get away.......

After years of waiting, finally the verdict is out.

Santosh Kumar Singh, the man who raped Priyadarshini Mattoo and smashed her face with a motorcycle helmet beyond recognition and then strangled her , has had his sentence reduced from a death penalty to a life sentence.

Shiva Kumar the cabbie who raped and murdered Pratibha has been finally convicted of his crime after 4 and half years of the crime. We actually need 4 and a half years to just prove that she was raped & murdered by him. He still needs to be sentenced. Her mother Gowramma laments that if she had died by an accident or other causes, she would have not been this upset. She sees the criminal who snatched her lone family member away from her dressed in trendy t shirts & jeans for the hearings and feels cheated a little more. Who would'nt? She says her daughter was found with not a scrap of cloth on her body dumped in the bushes. Is that the kind of death any human would be able to deal with??

Yet we still have to deal with this whole lobby against capital punishment. .

Yes, I have heard of the saying "an eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind." But I do not think we can apply it in every situation.

We need to send out strong messages out there. I, as a working woman, can understand what a terrible night that must have been for pratibha. The slow realization that something is amiss. Finally being convinced that your in major trouble, then slowly the events unfolding in a desolate place. I'm sure pratibha would have hoped to live through the ordeal. She would have also hoped that somebody would save her. As each shred of cloth would have been ripped off her body, she would have struggled to find hope. Her hope was killed. Now her mother's hope is also being toyed around with.

Accuse me of being extreme, But I want the death penalty for both Mattoo's & Pratibha's case....

May their souls rest in peace. And may shiva kumar & santosh singh rot in hell!